Kid: Did you hear that there is a report of snew tomorrow.
Teacher: What's snew?
Kid: Nothing much, what's snew with you?
Cop: "Seen anything unusual?"
Me: "A dolphin with a hat, once."
Cop: "I mean around here."
Me: "Nah - they live in water."
I’m 30 years older than my wife. When she was born I was thirty times older than she.
When I was 40 she was 10 making me four times older.
When she was 20 years old I was 50 making me only 2.5 times older.
Last year when we married, she was 30 and I was 60, making me twice her age.
I figure before long we’ll be the same age...
The only time the world beats a path to your door...
Is when you're in the bathroom!