1st man: "I think my Doctor has a vowel problem."
2nd man: "Don't you mean bowel problem?"
1st man: "No, it's the vowels. He changed the spelling of the Hippocratic Oath to Hippocritic and not only that, every time I visit his office I have to sign an IOU before He will see me."
What is the definition of the word 'jury'?
Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
Job Interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Me: "I would say my biggest weakness is listening."
A boxer complains to his doctor about insomnia.
Doc: "Have you tried counting sheep?"
Boxer: "Yes, but whenever I get to 9, I stand up."