What kind of face cream do Matadors use?
Olay!
The Judge said to the defendant, "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again?"
"Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police but they wouldn't listen."
Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.
Cop: You ARE the lawyer.
Lawyer: So where’s my present?
Two men were at a race track discussing fast horses when one said he had a horse that was faster than an automobile.
"Faster than any automobile? Who was he sired by? You know his fathers name?"
"Why, he is so fast he ran away before he could find out his fathers name!"