Latest Jokes

Mother to music teacher: “Jimmy has been taking violin lessons for 6 weeks now. What suggestions do you have to assist my son in learning to play the violin?”

Music teacher: “A new bridge for his violin.”

Mother: “OK. Did his get broken?”

Music teacher: “No, I think it will help him get his music across.”

Bobbie to neighbor: “What are you getting your children for Christmas?”

Neighbor: “Well, if my husband doesn’t stop staying out until three in the morning, I’ll be getting my kids a new dad.”

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally, she went to the pastor's study and asked for help.

The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock.

The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said.

"It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling."

An engaged couple was having an intense argument.

She: "If that's the kind of person you are, I'm going to break our engagement right now. My feelings towards you have changed. I don't want anything more to do with you."

He: "In that case give me my ring back!"

She: "My feelings toward you have changed. My feelings about the ring have not..."