I’m the best man at my buddy’s second wedding.
Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with, “Welcome back everyone!”?
Two girls were watching guys who were arriving at their favorite bar. "Who's that really cute guy?" one of them asked.
"Oh, that guy is a loser, he's always bouncing around between girls," says the second girl.
"Just tell me his name," the 1st girl suggests.
"Rick O'Shay," says the 2nd girl.
A forester often has to consult property owners to determine boundary lines. Walking up a dirt road to question one such individual, a forester encountered signs that read: "No Trespassing", "Beware of Dog", and "Keep Out... This Means You!"
Finally arriving at the door, he talked with the congenial, cooperative landowner.
When my husband was ready to leave, the man said to him, "Come and see me again sometime. I don't get many visitors up this way."
Why can't towels tell jokes?
Because they have a dry sense of humor.