A man walks up to a librarian and asks, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and Schrödinger's cat?"
The librarian responds, "It rings a bell but I'm not sure if it's here or not."
Two sociologists are sitting by the pool. One turns to the other and asks, "Have you read Marx?"
The other replies, "Yes, it's these darn wicker chairs!"
What do you call a priest that’s also a lawyer?
A father in law.
As I pulled into the gas station, I noticed a woman trying to push her car toward the pump. Having always considered myself a Good Samaritan, I parked and joined her in pushing her car.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm giving you a hand," I said. "What are you doing?"
"I'm stretching before my run."