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Favorite this joke During the Revolutionary War, England lost the battle of Saratoga because General Howe stayed in Philadelphia...
So they lost due to "lack of no Howe"!
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting…
He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.”
“What I want you to do…” the man continued, “every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”
So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man...
... and his re-seeding heir line.
Little Johnny comes home from school and tells his dad that he failed the safety quiz
Dad: What? How?
Little Johnny: I missed the only question
Dad: What was the question?
Little Johnny: What steps do we take in case of fire?
Dad: And what did you say?
Little Johnny: Well I said really large ones but apparently that's not right answer!!!
A Sunday School teacher wanted to use squirrels as an example of a diligent work ethic and being prepared. She started the lesson by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children were excited to show her what they knew and leaned forward eagerly.
"I'm thinking of something that lives in trees and eats nuts." No hands went up. "It can be gray or brown and it has a long bushy tail." The children looked around the room at each other, but still no one raised a hand.
"It chatters and sometimes it flips its tail when it's excited?"
Finally one little boy shyly raised his hand. The teacher breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Okay, Michael. What do you think it is?"
"Well," said the boy, "I know the answer's supposed to be Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.
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