My history teacher gave me an “F” for a final grade.
When I asked her why she failed me she said, “I didn’t fail you. You failed yourself.”
I said, “In that case, I think I’m going to change my grade.”
My kids were fighting over their toys. I warned them if they kept it up I would take the toys away. They didn’t stop so I took them away to teach them a lesson.
Afterwards, they were still fighting. I said, “That’s it!” and gave them their toys back.
Lesson learned.
Little Mary's father was typing away at his home computer, when she sneaked up behind him. Suddenly, she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it?" her sister asked eagerly.
Proudly Little Mary replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
A bicycle rolls into the doctor's office.
It says, “ Doc, you gotta help me! I can’t keep from yawning all day long.”
The doctor says, “ Well, I think it’s because you’re too tired.”