A farmer walks into a hardware store and asks for a chainsaw that can cut down 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The farmer is suitably impressed, and buys it.
The next day he brings it back, complaining that it would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY!
The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the farmer says, “What’s that noise?”
Donald: Hi, Daisy...
Daisy: Don’t talk to me! I’m so mad I can’t speak! I was driving on Oak Street and a policeman gave me a ticket for going the wrong way!
Donald: Sure, Oak’s a one way street. It’s against the law to drive north on Oak.
Daisy: That’s just the point! I wasn’t going north, I was going east!
There once was a man from Pawtucket...
Who kept all his cash in a bucket...
His daughter, named Nan...
Ran off with a man...
And as for the bucket - Nantucket!
My friend keeps saying, “Cheer up, it could be worse, you could get stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
I know he means well.