Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke A lady was taking her first golf lesson. She asked the instructor, "Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?"
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "P-u-t means to place something where you want it. P-u-t-t means, merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Air Force Approach: "Eagle 13, turn right to 330."
Eagle 13: "Roger 330."
App: "Eagle 13, I've been working since last night, will you do me a favor?"
Eagle 13: "Affirmative, go ahead."
App: "Down below on your right, you'll see a base house with a yellow roof near the lake. That is my house. I had a fight with my Wife. I think we made peace but I'm worried she might take it out on my Harley. Do you see a Harley Davidson near the house?"
Eagle 13: "Negative sir. Instead, I can see a Ryder's truck."
A groundhog wonders if he’s cursed, having been reincarnated as the same animal, again and again.
Standing on a cliff looming over an unforeseeably deep body of water, he waves goodbye to his friends, warning, “You may not recognize me in the next life.”
He jumps off the edge, plunging down into the watery grave, once again being reborn as the same groundhog.
“Unbelievable!” says one groundhog to another, both watching in dismay, “He’s gone over that waterfall, into the fountain, been sucked up through the circulation tube, and shot back out where he started, I don’t know how many times.”
An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find that over his desk a horseshoe was nailed to the wall.
The American said with a nervous laugh, "Surely you don't believe that horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?"
Bohr chuckled, "I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not!"
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