The tot had just been put to bed for the umpteenth time and his mother's patience was wearing thin.
"I don't want to hear you call 'Mother' one more time!" she warned him sternly.
After a few minutes of quiet, a small voice came from upstairs, "Mrs. Jones? Can I have a drink of water?"
The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply...
"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."
Attending the funeral of a close friend I thought I recognized a lady I had not seen in 25 years.
I went up to her and said, "You look like Helen Black..."
She replied and walked away, "You don't look so good in brown!"
Six-year old Sammy: "Mommy, I want to have a baby..."
Mommy: "I'm sorry Sammy, but little boys can't have babies."
Sammy: "Oh, okay... in that case, can I have a pony?"