Latest Jokes

8 votes

My friend that has come into money is telling me that he is having his family tree researched.

"Yes, and it is quite expensive, it cost $5,000."

"Wow", I replied, "that is expensive!"

"Yes, but it only cost $2,000 to have it looked up. It cost another $3,000 to have it hushed up."

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CATEGORY Family Jokes

posted by "maryjones" |

$12.00 won 2 votes

I asked my father-in-law, a crop duster, how his day had gone.

"I had just the worst day," he replied. "This morning I was up in my plane dusting a field when I nicked a power line and damaged the wing on the plane. When I got back to the office, my boss chewed me out. Then the guy from the FAA chewed me out. On my way home, I stopped at a bar and was handed a warm beer. So I yelled at the bartender, 'Don't you have any cold beer?!' The bartender said, 'Sorry, but we've been out of electricity all day ever since some idiot crop-duster hit a power line down the road.'"

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CATEGORY Business Jokes

posted by "HENNE" |

2 votes

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.

I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.

I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!