An inebriated young actor staggered into a large hotel in Hollywood and looked into a large mirror in the lobby.
After a minute or so passed he said, in a loud voice, "Look, they've got a picture of me here, too!"
My girlfriend is impossible to buy for so I asked her best friend what I should get her for her birthday.
Best Friend: “Does she like you?”
Me: “Oh yes, I am positive she likes me!!!”
Best friend: “If she likes you, she’ll like anything.”
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor.
When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.
"Oh," said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse?"
What do you call a robot that always takes the longest route around?
R2Detour.