Pat O'Brian lay at death's door and he sent for a lawyer to make his last will. O'Brian's wife remained in the room while the lawyer was there. The lawyer said, "State your affairs briefly."
Mr. O'Brian: "Timothy Duggan owes me $5."
Mrs. O'Brian: "Good, sensible to the last."
Mr. O'Brian: "Patrick Kelly owes me $15."
Mrs. O'Brian: "Good, sensible to the last."
Mr. O'Brian: "Michael McKay, I owe $100."
Mrs. O'Brian: "My soul, listen to him rave out of his mind."
The zoo keeper found a new employee standing uneasy next to the lion's cage.
Zoo keeper: "Didn't I tell you that when the lion is wagging his tail, he was friendly?"
Employee: "He was wagging his tail and roaring at the same time."
Zoo keeper: "So, what's that got to do with it?"
Employee: "Well, I don't know which end to trust."
Mr. Boggs was halted by the highway patrol who informed him that he was going seventy-five miles an hour in a twenty-five mile an hour zone.
"I wasn't going seventy-five!" protested Mr. Boggs. "I wasn't even going sixty, I wasn't even going fifty, I wasn't even going forty, I wasn't even going..."
"Hey look out," said the highway patrol person. "At this rate you will be backing into something soon enough..."
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?