My last name is Pines.
My parents named me Phillip.
I've never forgiven them for that.
And no, I've NEVER been there!
Sign I want on the side of my coffin...
"Don't take life too seriously. Now this, THIS is serious!"
I can spot an innie and an outie belly button on the beach from a mile away. ..
That's because I graduated with honors from the U.S Navel Academy.
I applied for a position as a magicians assistant, laying on the table as he cuts me in half with a giant saw.
I figured it's a job I could really get in-two.