A judge and four lawyers were stuck in an elevator. Two were defense attorneys and the other two were on the prosecutor’s team.

The light in the elevator went out but it’s well known that in the light well is a spare bulb. The question is now posed, how many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb.

Answer: It only took one but it took a half hour for the judge to listen to all the arguments before he decided who had to change it.

If at first you don't succeed, hire it out!

On social media I posted, “If anyone mentions Christmas before Thanksgiving, I'm going to delete them!”

The next day, I didn’t have any friends.

A boy was talking to his kindergarten friend at recess. He said, "When I grow up I want to be the big bad wolf."

"Why?" asked his friend.

"Because I want to deliver presents to kids all over the world on Christmas," he replied.

Looking puzzled his friend said, "I believe you’re thinking of Santa Claus."

"Nope," he replies, "it’s the big bad wolf. How else are you going to put presents in locked houses?"

"Then what does Santa Clause do?" asked the friend.

"Santa puts money under your pillow if you lose a tooth. Next recess I’ll tell you how Little Red Riding hood met the three bears. Oh and why the Easter Bunny hangs out with the three little pigs who went wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

"How do you know all this stuff?"

"It’s easy, mom makes my dad read to me every night."