A woman walked into a library and wondered whether they had any books about paranoia.
The librarian replied, “They’re right behind you.”
I buy all my guns from a guy called “T-Rex”...
He’s a small arms dealer.
If Shaq were:
A banana - he’d be Shaquille O’Peel
A shade of blue green - he’d be Shaquille O’Teal
A criminal - he’d be Shaquille O’Steal
A poker player - he’d be Shaquille O’Deal
Overly emotional - he’d be Shaquille O’Feel
A doctor - he’d be Shaquille O’Heal
Gary the Cactus will never find true love.
Female Cactus: "Gary, you need to quit being selfish. We’re cact-us."
Gary the Cactus: "Actually we’re cact-i."