I think I’m a really great golfer...
I once shot a 72...
On the first nine holes!
Is there a Fourth of July in England?
Of course there is! There’s a Fourth of July in every country. It’s just only in America that it's a holiday.
When does Christmas come before Halloween and Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary!
I was called a "nobody" today...
Then I thought, nobody is perfect...
Therefore, I must be perfect!