Bob: Why aren't you working?

Al: The boss and I had a fight, and he won't take back what he said.

Bob: What did he say?

Al: He said, "You're fired!"

I told her that no sensible person would go out in the cold weather wearing nothing but a bikini.

So she went out with a little moron.

What's the difference between a unicorn and lettuce?

One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.

Definition of Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.