At an art gallery, a woman and her 10 year old son were having a tough time choosing between two paintings. They finally chose and went with the autumn themed one.

“I see you prefer an autumn scene as opposed to a floral one,” said the gallery owner, who happened to be nearby and witnessed the mother-son interaction.

“No,” said the boy. “This painting is wider, so it’ll cover the three holes I put in the wall.”

The young boy was spending a Sunday afternoon with his grandpa. Looking at pictures of his grandpa in his military uniform, the boy asked, "Grandpa, did you ever kill anyone in the war?"

"No champ, I never did."

"That's a good thing."

"You're telling me," began grandpa, "I was the cook!"

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That's when I finally understood why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

At the Super Bowl party, Ken overheard two wives talking about their husbands and men in general. Then he heard the best quote ever from one of them....

"The rules of football and the plot of The Godfather are the two most complicated things that every guy understands, no matter how dumb he is."