I went on a job interview the other day. I wasn't really qualified but I decided to apply anyway. A week later, I became very excited when I was called in for an interview.

At the interview, the prospective employer asked a few questions then read through my resume. After a few anxious moments, as I sat in silence waiting for him to finish reading, he put down my resume. He looked up at me and said, "We have an opening for someone like you."

"Really?" I replied excitedly. "What is it?"

"It's called the door."

A 106-year-old cowboy in Texas recently passed away. He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity.

He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning.

He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the crematorium.

Did you hear about the yogic guru who had a terrible toothache?

He wouldn't let the dentist give him any painkillers.

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Myra was going to the office party but needed a new party dress.

In the clothing store she asked, "May I try on that dress in the window, please?"

"Certainly not, madam,'" responded the salesgirl. "You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else."