St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball.

Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.

"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."

"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered. "We've got all the umpires."

Tiger Woods walks into the Masters lobby and asks for a room. The clerk responds, "I am sorry sir we are booked, but there is a hotel about a 4 iron down the road."

Tiger says, "But I'm playing in the Master's tomorrow."

The clerk replies again that they are booked, but there is a hotel about a 4 iron down the road.

To this Tiger says, "But I am Tiger Woods!"

The clerk then says, "Oh! For you it's just a 9 iron then."

"You have to work on this, you can't keep arriving late for work."

"The trouble with getting to work on time, is that it makes the day so long."

Why are there always more last minute details to attend to than there are actual last minutes???