Q: What do we have in December that we don't have in any other month?

A: The letter "D"!

Research has determined that the shelf life of fruitcake is longer than the shelf itself.

TOP TEN GIFTS YOUR WIFE DOESN'T WANT FOR CHRISTMAS...

10. A car wash kit
9. A table saw
8. Two all-day passes to Best Buy's Home Theatre Installation Seminar
7. A case of oil
6. Five-year subscription to Sports Illustrated

5. Custom engraved bowling ball
4. New outboard motor for fishing boat
3. Rambo Trilogy on DVD
2. New satellite dish with sports package
1. Three-year membership to Weight Watchers Clinic

Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's table?

Why, Sir-Cumference, of course!