I made soup entirely from ingredients extracted from the atmosphere...
It was a broth of fresh air!
I saw a bloke walking along carrying a door handle. I asked him why he had it.
He said, "Well, it gets me out of the house."
It's officially that season...
It’s officially the season of letting vague Santa threats do about 80 percent of my parenting.
Police are on the lookout after a man has been breaking into farms and stealing cows.
They are looking for a male with a large moo-stash.