A lawyer named Strange passed away. His friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for a passerby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However, he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."

That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark, "That's Strange."

A husband and wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or novocaine because I am in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”

“You are a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.”

The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”

Recently, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that to get into Heaven they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, unable to handle the odors coming from this guy, decided to make the question a little harder. "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. "1,228," he answered.

"That's right! You may enter."

St. Peter turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

After a preacher died and went to heaven, he noticed that a New York cab driver had been awarded a higher place than he. “I don't understand,” he inquired to Saint Peter. “I devoted my entire life to my congregation.”

“Our policy here in Heaven is to reward results,” Saint Peter explained. “Now, was your congregation well attuned to you whenever you gave a sermon?”

“Well,” the minister had to admit, “sure, some in the congregation fell asleep from time to time.”

“Exactly!” said Saint Peter. “When people rode in this man's taxi, they not only stayed awake, they even prayed!”