In my house, there is this light switch that doesn’t do anything.
Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check.
Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, “Cut it out.”
-- A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
-- Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
-- The more garbage you put up with, the more garbage you are going to get.
-- You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
-- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
-- Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
-- When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
-- If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
-- There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
-- Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.
A man showed some friends his apartment. One guest asked, "What's that big brass basin for?"
"That's the talking clock," answered the man.
He gave it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.
Suddenly, a voice on the other side of the wall screamed, "Knock it off! Don't you know that it's 2:00 A.M.!"
USEFUL MEDICAL TERMS
Artery Study of Paintings
Bacteria Back door to cafeteria
Barium What to do when treatment fails
Bowels Letters like A, E, I, O, U
Cat scan Searching for kitty
Colic Sheep dog
Coma Punctuation mark
D & C Where Washington is
Enema Not a friend
Hangnail Coat hook
Impotent Distinguished; well known