How are wives like hand grenades?
Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
My sister landed a good job with an accounting firm, and after a while she got a generous raise. The day she found out about it, her husband picked her up from work, and they stopped for ice cream. As they continued home, my sister blurted out, "Isn't it hard to believe that I have a job that pays this much money?"
Just then, she went to toss the last of her ice cream cone out the window. However, the window was closed, and it smacked against the glass.
Her husband replied calmly, "Yes, yes it is."
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it means one of two things...
It's either a new car or a new wife!