If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines 5 years ago, you would have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG 5 years ago, you would have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers 5 years ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

And as a bonus... A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41 miles to the gallon!

Mark was passing by the bar on the way home from work when he sees his good friend Tom gulping down one shot after another.

Fearing the worst, Mark charged into the bar and confronted Tom. “Tom what’s going on?” Mark asked.

“It’s my wife Beckie,” Tom replied. “She ran off with my best friend!”

“Hey wait a second!" said Mark. “Aren’t I your best friend?”

“Not any more,” Tom said with a happy smile. “He is!”

War does not determine who is right...

Only who is left.