Sign inside a bowling alley:
"Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
How come nailing something down is good...
But screwing something up is bad?
A tourist parked his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?"
"What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Congress?"
"Well, no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. But it's all right. I'll trust you anyway."
On a Butcher's window....
"Let Me Meat Your Needs!"