Maurice an 82 year-old man went to the doctor for his physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Maurice walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later do doctor spoke to Maurice and said, “You’re really dong great, aren’t you?”
Maurice replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: “Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”
The doctor said, “I did not say that. I said, “You got a heart murmur. Be careful.”

Three old pilots are walking on the ramp. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”
Second says, “No, its Thursday!”
Third one says, “So am I. Lest go get a beer.”

Mrs. Smith, I ain’t got no crayons.
Young man, you mean, I don’t have any crayons.
You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons.
They don’t have any crayons.
Do you see what I’m getting at?
I think so. What happened to all the crayons?

The old accountant retired after forty years, and on the top drawer of his desk they found a note that said: “debits in the columns toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window.”