Two kids talking: “Have you noticed, if you pass your exams everyone says you get your brains from your parents, but if you fail your exams everyone says you’re stupid.”

“What would you like to be when you grow up Tommy?”
“I’d like to be a teacher, sir.”
“Would you, indeed? And why would you like to be a teacher?”
“Cause I wouldn’t have to do any more learning – I’d know everything by then!”

“Alfred, if I had 20 marbles in my right pants pocket, 20 marbles in my left pants pocket, 40 marbles in my right hip pocket and 40 marbles in may left hip pocket – what would I have?”

“Heavy pants, sir!”

“It’s no good, sir,” said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher, ‘I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other.”
“Goes in both ears and out the other?” asked the puzzled teacher, “but you only have two ears, son.”
“You see, sir,” I’m no good at math, either!”