“Do you obtain good SAT results?” asked the father of a prospective pupil.
“Oh, indeed we do,” said the Principal of the expensive private school.
“We guarantee satisfaction – or we return the student…”

Two kids talking: “Have you noticed, if you pass your exams everyone says you get your brains from your parents, but if you fail your exams everyone says you’re stupid.”

“What would you like to be when you grow up Tommy?”
“I’d like to be a teacher, sir.”
“Would you, indeed? And why would you like to be a teacher?”
“Cause I wouldn’t have to do any more learning – I’d know everything by then!”

“Alfred, if I had 20 marbles in my right pants pocket, 20 marbles in my left pants pocket, 40 marbles in my right hip pocket and 40 marbles in may left hip pocket – what would I have?”

“Heavy pants, sir!”