“Do you obtain good SAT results?” asked the father of a prospective pupil.
“Oh, indeed we do,” said the Principal of the expensive private school.
“We guarantee satisfaction – or we return the student…”

Two kids talking: “Have you noticed, if you pass your exams everyone says you get your brains from your parents, but if you fail your exams everyone says you’re stupid.”

“Now my motto in life,” said the school chaplain, “is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?”
“My motto is let bygones be bygones.”
“That’s good. Why did you choose that?”
“Then I wouldn’t have to take any history classes!”

“Johnny, I’ve had a letter from your Principal, said the father.
It seems you’re very careless with your appearance.”
“Am I, Dad?”
“Yes. You haven’t appeared in school since last semester!”