Past Winners

What do you call two birds stuck together?

Vel-Crow

Mr. Bigger and Mrs. Bigger have a baby.

Who’s the biggest in the family?

The baby of course - because he’s a little Bigger.

Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to."

Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Congratulations!" he said. "You're now officially a presbyope!"

Doug leaned over and asked seriously, "If that means I'm no longer a Roman Catholic, do I still have to go to Confession?"

Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in California, I was stopped by a state trooper in Kansas for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother's delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.

Later, I was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done?" I asked.

"Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies."