Past Winners

Wife: Are you having another sleepless night?!?

Husband: Yeah! I’m so darn angry, I’ve got insomnia again.

Wife: What’s eating you tonight?

Husband: It's that damn boss of mine! He gets me so boiling mad! He keeps bugging me all day long! Hounding me! Hounding me!! Then, when comes time to go to bed, I’m so full of “I should’ve said—!” that I can’t get any shut-eye!

Wife: What’s he got against you anyway?

Husband: He says I keep falling asleep on the job.

An English boy came home from school to hear the family parrot say, "Liam never does his homework."

Liam: "Who told you that?"

Polly looked the other way and said nothing..

Liam: "So, mum's the word eh."

Polly: "Oh man, don't tell Mum I told you."

Two sharks are swimming along in the ocean when they spot a windsurfer.

“Ooh, look, a snack!” cheers up the first one.

The second one nods appreciatively, “And on a nice little plate with even a napkin!"

What do you call a priest who returns stuff to the store?

Holy redeemer.