Past Winners

Wife: Honey, I saved $1 off on a loaf of bread!

Husband: That’s fantastic! How did you do that?

Wife: Well, I bought a 10lbs bag of birdseed.

Husband: But we don’t have any birds.

Wife: Yes I know but the birdseed came with 50 cents off dog food coupon that I used to buy dog food.

Husband (frustratedly): WE DON’T HAVE ANY DOGS EITHER!!!

Wife: I KNOW! But the dog food came with $1 off bread coupon!

I called Animal Welfare today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing four kittens."

“That's terrible," she replied, "Are they moving?”

“I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "but if they were that would explain the suitcase.”

Doctor, doctor . . . All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!

Doctor: Sounds like a really bad case of parking sons disease.

There’s a guy who’s hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.

The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away.

So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he’s brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn’t reach him. Eventually, the bears went away.

Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.

Each bear was carrying a beaver.