Past Winners

If I lock my keys in my car, all I have to do is call OnStar and they unlock my car.

If the car is stolen, they can lock all the doors and trap the thief in the car.

Whenever my wife tells me she is taking the car to go shopping, I call OnStar and tell them my car has been stolen.

A man walks into his doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."

A voice from the man's stomach says, "No, you haven't."

After dinner one evening a the President was entertaining their house guest by playing the piano.

At one point he turned to the visitor and said, "I understand you love music?"

"Yes," murmured the guest politely. "But never you mind, you keep right on playing..."

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and trembles?

A nervous wreck.