Past Winners

A fellow was going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine made a loud 'hiss-pop!' noise.

"The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explained the guide. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."

Later, the tour reached the part of the factory where condoms were manufactured. The machine made a noise: "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!"

"Wait a minute!" said the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss' is, but what's that 'pop!' every so often?"

"Oh, it's rather like the baby-bottle nipple machine," said the guide, "but here the needle pokes a hole in every fourth condom."

"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"

"No," the guide said, "but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"

You know it's just too hot when...

1. Fireflies are asking you to put them out.

2. Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

3. Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.

4. Your sweatpants are sweating and you're not even wearing them!

5. The thermometer resigned.

6. The National Weather Service says its too hot to declare a heat advisory.

A friend of mine got kidnapped by a group of mimes...

They did unspeakable things to him!

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

He puts on another coat.