Past Winners

How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who wants to know?!?!

Why isn't holy water used in vaccines?

Because you can't take the lord's name in vein.

Sarah, the teacher, asked her 5th grade history class, "When was Rome built?" and called on Timothy to answer first.

"Rome was built at night," was his answer.

"At night?" asked Mrs. Taylor, holding her ruler firmly in her boney-knuckled hands. "How ever did you get such an idea?"

"Well," gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, "everyone knows Rome wasn't built in a day."

Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play nine holes of golf. Both men are playing excellently but were often held up by two women in front of them, moving at a very slow pace.

Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about 3/4ths of the way, stops and jogs back. His boss asks what the problem is.

Joe said, “Well, one of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress.”

Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women. He was determined to finish his round of golf. He was prepared to ask the ladies to hurry their game. He too stopped short and turned around.

Joe asked, "What's wrong?"

“It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired."