Past Winners

A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

"Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.

"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.

"You're under 21," replies the barman.

Father: Are you playing with that video game again? What about studying?! What about homework?!

Son: Ahhh, school is such a bore!

Father: Listen, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked ten miles to school! When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he did his homework by fire-light!

Son: And when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States!

David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, David and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called.

A bit later, David noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and a voice from inside called, "Get me out!"

"Don't worry," David replied, "maintenance should be sending somebody."

"They did," said the voice.

Two guys were sitting at the bar. One of them said, “A lady has invited me to brunch tomorrow but I know nothing of proper table etiquette."

“What do you want to know?" asked the other one.

“Well, um… for example what goes better with waffles, red or white wine?”

"Is it too late to cancel?"