I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.
And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
A man had recently moved and was filling out forms at his local police station:
Q: Has your driver's license ever been suspended or revoked?
"No, never."
Q: Have you ever been convicted of a DUI?
"Oh yes, lots of times!"
Q: Have you ever been convicted of a driving-related felony?
"Yeah, three of them."
At this point, the officer stopped to ask: "Well wait a minute, if you have all of these DUIs and felonies, how come your license has never been suspended or revoked?"
The man responds: "Never got one."
The swordfish has few predators in the wild.
Except for the rare penfish, which is said to be mightier.
What would Wonder Woman and Spider-Man name their business?
Amazon Web Services.