Past Winners

What is a Pessimist?

The real world dictionary defines a 'pessimist' as an optimist with no experience.

Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined give me very dry skin.

One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room wearing a towel.

Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and put it on."What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well," he replied, "if you're going to be formal, so am I."

"Are you an actress, auntie?"

"No darling, why do you ask?"

"Because Daddy says whenever you come over, we have a scene."

What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?

Talonted!