Past Winners

What do you call those who fully listen to both sides of an argument?

Neighbors.

There's a Labrador by my front door shouting 'Buy!' and 'Sell!' into a mobile phone...

I'm sick of dogs doing their business outside my house.

When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?”

I said, “No, not particularly."

If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it?

In Google Docs.