Past Winners

I started a new workout routine this week, doing crunches twice a day...

I do Cap'n in the morning and Nestle's in the afternoon.

Teacher: If two people told you they walked five miles in a straight line into a desert how many miles would they have walked together?

Little Johnny: They would have walked 10 miles together.

Teacher: That isn’t correct Johnny, they walked 5 miles together, so the answer is 5 miles and not a combined total of 10 miles.

Little Johnny, nope, it’s 10 miles and I’ll betcha a buck.

Teacher: You’re on! Now explain to the class how you arrived at 10 total miles. BTW, I’ll let you off the hook for the dollar.

Little Johnny: You said two people told me they told me they’d walked in a straight line five miles into the desert. How could they have told me this unless they walked backed? That’s ten miles in my book and I’m not letting you off the hook, change will be fine.

Stepping up to the counter at the fast-food restaurant, I asked for a baked potato with butter on the side.

With the gusto of someone newly employed, the teenager taking my order asked, “Which side?”

"You should meet my husband. He makes a living with his pen."

"Oh, so he's a writer?"

"No, he raises pigs."