Past Winners

Grandma: "Oh, what nice new boots! Where did you get them?"

Granddaughter: "At the store."

Grandma: "Which one?"

Granddaughter: "Both of them."

My mother and father were driving when she was pulled over by the police. Mom was in a hurry and told the officer so.

“I understand ma’am,” he said. “But I have to ticket anyone over 55.”

Mom was beside herself. “That’s discrimination!” she shouted.

The officer explained calmly, “Ma'am, I meant the speed limit.”

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.

As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.

Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.

As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

Waiter: I just wanted to let you know kids eat free.

Dad: Good, I'll have water and my daughter will have the steak and a kid's light beer.