Past Winners

Farmers Brown & Jones had adjoining farms for years and didn't get along at all.

One night after supper, Farmer Brown knocked on Farmer Jones's door. When Farmer Jones answered the door, Farmer Brown said, "I know we don't talk often, but I wanted you to know that our mule just died today."

Farmer Jones replied, "I'm certainly sorry to hear that, but I am wondering why you came over here to tell me?"

"Because," Farmer Brown said, "you're always supposed to notify the next of kin."

I was at the hardware store to get a duplicate of my car key made when the store clerk said, “You’re a model?”

It was exactly what a woman in her mid-30’s wanted to hear. “Well, no, I’m not,” I said, blushing. “But, I’m flattered that...“

He stopped me right there, pointed to my car keys and slowly repeated, “Year…and…model?”

A boy and his father go together for a boys’ day out at the zoo.

“Daddy, I don't like how that hyena is looking at me from behind that glass, it's quite scary!” says the boy.

“Shush, Jason, this is only the ticket office!”

A physician had just finished up a colonoscopy.

Before the patient leaves, he asks the physician, "Could you write a note for my wife, saying that my head isn't really up there?"