Past Winners

When I was young I could watch basketball and even soccer, I could follow all the moves.

But I slowed down a bit and switched to American football since there were many seconds between plays.

But that caught up with me so I switched to baseball since there could be several minutes between plays.

But then I started going to sleep between the plays and lost whole innings.

What to do?

I finally settled on solitaire. If I fall asleep between drawing cards, the game is the same when I wake up.

The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune...

But Chickpeas can only “hummus” one!

“Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing,” I said to my wife.

She said, “Wear your own then.”

An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn't quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500."

He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn.

A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee: $200."