Past Winners

My boss came to me at lunch, "Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to find you all morning!"

I shrugged and said, "Good employees are hard to find!"

Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes!

Me: I wish for a world without lawyers.

Genie: Done! You have no more wishes.

Me: But you said three?

Genie: Well go ahead, sue me.

Me (texting): Are we still on for today?

Reply Received: You don’t have to text me this every morning! As your boss, trust me when I say, WE ARE "ON" FOR WORK EVERYDAY, MON - FRI!

At a local gun show two guys were bragging about their wife's abilities.

"My wife's a fine shot. She can hit a dollar every time."

"That's nothing. My wife goes through my trousers and never misses a dime."