I decided to do research on my ancestry and went to a genealogy professional.
First question: "Have you any poor relations?"
"Not any that I know."
Second question: "Have you any rich relations?"
"Not any that know me."
If Watson isn't the most famous doctor...
...Then Who is!
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is."
"Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office.
At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1:00 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
"First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
I am so old...
When walking into a bar they checked my pulse instead of my ID!