Past Winners

The traveling salesman was passing through a small western town selling an elixir which he declared: "will make men live to a great age!"

"Look at me," he shouted. "Hale and hearty, I'm over 300 years old."

"Is he really as old as that?" a bystander ask the youthful assistant.

"I can't say," replied the assistant. "I've only worked for him for just over a 100 years."

"And you say you were in the town where I was born?" she murmured softly.

"Yes," he replied.

"And you thought of me, Bob?" she cooed.

"I did," replied Bob. "I said to myself, 'Why, isn't this where what's-her-name born?'"

Victim (after burglary): They stole everything from my house but the soap and towels.

Policeman: Why, those dirty crooks!

My girlfriend gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.

So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she’s sangria then ever!