A preacher stood up before his congregation and said, "I have so much to say, I don't know where to begin."
Someone in the pew shouted, "How about somewhere close to the end?"
Justice is a dish best served cold...
If it were served warm, it would be justwater.
So the doctor came in to ask me about my broken arm.
He said: “Will painkillers help?"
I said: “It wouldn't hurt.”
A Greek man walks into a Greek tailor shop holding a pair of old tattered jeans.
The blind old tailor squints at him, "Euripedes?"
The man nods and holds up the pants, "Eumenedes?"